


Everything is Awful

by Quipplepunk



Series: Sirius Black [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Everything is awful, Gen, Regret, Song Lyrics, The Decemberists - Freeform, The Prank, after the prank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23953234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quipplepunk/pseuds/Quipplepunk
Summary: The day after the prank. Sirius tries to write music.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter
Series: Sirius Black [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709893
Kudos: 20





	Everything is Awful

“I’m not,” Remus says and rolls over on his side in the hospital bed. 

“What do you mean?” Peter whines, swaying from side-to-side, wringing his hands. 

“I mean what I said.” Remus’s voice is muffled against the wall he’s facing, but the sharp certainty in his tone is not dulled one bit. 

“You would really rather feel miserable in the hospital than in your own, soft, warm, comfortable bed in your nice, quiet, private dorm?” James coaxes. Remus doesn’t move. He doesn’t say anything. “Aahh,” James smiles to himself. “I’m on to something, am I, Remus? That cozy bed with nice heavy curtains and friends close by to keep up a steady supply of chocolate. That’s sounding better by the minute, isn’t it?” 

Remus lays still. James and Peter watch him for a moment, then Peter says, “Is he asleep?” 

James squints at Remus, focusing on the rhythm of breathing beneath the thin hospital sheets. “Oi. Remus,” James whisper-shouts. “Come on, Remus. You know that –” 

“Gentlemen!” Madam Pomfrey shoos James and Peter out of the hospital wing. “Can’t you see the poor boy’s sleeping! How long have you been friends with him? And you still don’t know you need to let him rest!” James and Peter try to protest but retreat to the Great Hall when Madame Pomfrey threatens to put up warding spells to keep them away. 

“I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. I just can’t. I can’t believe it,” Peter mumbles as the two take their seats. 

“Peter,” James snaps. “If you don’t stop saying that and shut the hell up, I’m gonna… I don’t know what I’ll do but you better believe –” 

“May I suggest murder?” Sirius says, casually plopping down next to James. “You know, if he doesn’t shut up. You could kill him.” Sirius grins and nudges James in the ribs playfully. 

James cringes and pulls away, giving Sirius a nasty sideways glance. Peter, sitting on the other side of James, looks away and studies the walls and the ceiling and the floor. 

Sirius rolls his eyes and scoffs. “So, who’s taking the first shift with Moony? He didn’t get himself too beat up without us, did he?” James turns his head slowly towards Sirius with a deadly glare. Peter grunts and scowls at his breakfast, leaning his head on his hand, elbow propped on the table. “What?” Sirius says. “You two aren’t still upset about all that last night, are you? Godrick, you’re all so uptight. I keep telling you, you’re blowing it all out of proportion.” 

“Out of proportion?!” James says, quite a bit too loudly. Several people snap their heads around and give the group looks with varying degrees of interest and suspicion. James lowers his voice and says, “Sirius, I don’t know what will get it through your thick skull, but that wasn’t just a prank. It was near homicide!” 

“Homicide!” Sirius shouts. “So that’s what you think of me now, is it? That I’ve gone mad? Nothing but a maniac. A notorious, murderous monstrosity. Oh, I see. I see what I’m worth to you now.” 

“Sirius!” James grabs Sirius by the collar of his shirt and pulls him so that they are nose to nose. Through gritted teeth James says, “Keep your voice down!” 

Sirius yanks himself away from James’s grip. Sirius grinds out, “Keep my voice… Keep my… James, you fucking spoiled, arrogant, back stabbing fuck.” Sirius stands abruptly, spilling some of the plates of fruit and pitchers of juice on the table. “Stay away from me.” Sirius stalks out of the Great Hall, red-faced. Most of the people in the Hall watch him go and then whip their heads back to James and Peter. The two lower their gazes and eat their breakfast without saying another word. 

___

“Remus, please … Just… please look at me.” Sirius drops to his knees besides Remus’s bed in the hospital wing. “Please,” Sirius says quietly, hanging his head. Remus is sitting up in bed with a breakfast tray across his lap. He is gazing straight in front of him, jaw clenched tight. His face is blank. Sirius stands and walks to the foot of Remus’s bed. Remus lowers his eyes to his breakfast and begins eating. Sirius sighs deeply and drags his feet back to Remus’s side. “Please…” Sirius whispers. 

“Sirius Black.” Madame Pomfrey stands closely behind Sirius. She stares at Sirius and the hair on the back of his neck stands up. “I think it would be best if you were to leave.” She purses her lips and the veins in her forehead slowly make their presence known. Sirius swallows hard and shifts so that he is perpendicular to Madame Pomfrey. There is no color left in his face and his wide eyes do not rise from the floor. “Do not make me remove you, young man.” 

“Remove me?” Remus turns his head and looks past Sirius to Madame Pomfrey. 

“Not you, dear,” Madame Promfrey steps forward, pushing past Sirius. 

“Then, who were you talking to?” Remus says innocently. 

Madame Pomfrey turns to look at Sirius, whose jaw has fallen slack. “Have you received the message, Mr. Black? Or do I need to explain it more clearly to you?” Sirius takes a step backwards and looks back and forth between Madame Pomfrey and Remus. 

“Madame Pomfrey,” Remus says, “Who’s Mr. Black?” Sirius gasps and backs away. After a long look at Remus, Sirius straightens up, smooths out his robes and fixes his tie. He tosses his hair back, turns sharply, and strides out the door. 

___

Sirius sits on the roof. The view from his place perfectly frames Hogsmeade and the mountains behind the town. He strums clumsily on a guitar and sings:  
“Everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, thing  
Everything, everything, everything, everything, everything is awful  


Oh everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, thing  
Everything, everything, everything, everything, everything is awful  
Everything is awful, everything is...”  


Sirius sighs deeply and lets the guitar clunk out of his hands and onto the roof. The guitar slowly morphs back into his school bag. He roots around in the bag and pulls out a composition notebook and a pen. He pulls his knees up to his chest and writes in the notebook sloppily:  
“What's that crashing sound  
That follows us around?  
That's the sound of all things good breaking”  


Sirius studies the page then tosses the pen and notebook across the roof. He rubs his face roughly and tugs his fingers through his wind-whipped hair. He bumps the back of his head into the turret behind him over and over. 

The wind picks up and catches the notebook. It skids across the roof all the way to the eaves and gets caught in the gutter. Sirius jumps to his feet and glides down the roof after it. When he reaches for the notebook, his breath gets caught in his chest. The view from the edge of the roof makes his stomach twist into knots. He grabs the notebook and climbs back up the roof. He snatches up the pen and flips through the notebook. He scribbles:  
“Why are we afraid  
Waited for so long  
This song, angels made”  


Sirius reads over the lines and growls at the page before scratching out what he had written. He looks back over Hogsmeade. Slowly, Sirius makes his way back down the roof. He hesitates for a long moment before sitting down and hanging his legs over the side. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. He hums to himself as he writes:  
“Put your fears to rest  
You know it's for the best  
As a choir of angels sings”  


Sirius says aloud to himself, “Everything is awful.” The wind picks up again and Sirius leans forward with the force of it pressing on his back.


End file.
